Bladerunner Alleycat

As mentioned a few posts back, I have a love/hate relationship with alleycats, but after the Blood In Blood Out one went relatively successfully, I figured why not race again. Jimmy L. from downtown has always put on the best alleycats, though sadly I have missed his 'Falling Down' and 'Traffic' alleycats. This time was 'Bladerunner', which was shot almost entirely in downtown L.A. (though set in the future).

Given I knew some of the spots, I thought maybe I stood a small chance. But mostly I was just looking forward to racing across downtown chasing 'replicants' at buildings such as the Bradbury (Harrison Ford's home in the movie)

After the 60 or so competitors got their map, there was a sprint start, but most didnt realize you had to follow someone to the first stop, but those that did pay attention took off up the stairs to the multi-level parking lot, got our manifest on the 6th floor (list of 5 checkpoints), and proceeded to race back down and out into the streets of downtown. Chris and I took a different approach, and headed to the furthest checkpoint in Chinatown first. The stops consisted of tasks to 'eliminate' the replicants to get points. Ten cartwheels, kids rides, eating fake eyeballs, scoring a goal in bike polo, reciting movie lines, getting lost, deciphering a poorly photocopied map in the dark, eating fortune cookies, origami, avoiding police, remembering to get checked off at each stop (and the extra secret stops), drink water, as well as some actual riding

And then there was the final stop, on the 27th floor of the impossible to cognitively map, postmodern nightmare, that is the Bonaventure hotel, and this...

It all seemed like it would be fun and games

...but I was hurting by lash #5. I had to see if I could take 10, I made it, with two extras because I didnt say "thankyou mistress" correctly. Note the hardcore porn all over the walls and bed for added incentive. Chris took the easier option of folding origami out of porn, but I regret nothing!

There was a 9.30 cut off time before you had to head to the Monte Carlo bar in Koreatown for the last stop, a 15 minute sprint west out of downtown. I came in second, at 9.29pm, and took the first non-messenger spot, half the field dropped out, and unfortunately two riders met with fast-moving cars and took a ride to County hospital, I hope they are doing better today.

*hrmm no actual photos of bicycles from a bicyle race, makes sense.